You’ve taken the time and worked hard to find the right person and relationship. Now, more than ever, it’s time to invest in the quality, longevity and health of it!

Premarital counseling is for those entering into marriage, civil unions or life partnerships. Our 6-10 session approach is strength based, solution focused and integrative based on our years of training. We use techniques from The Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Attachment Theory and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

What to expect: Our program focuses on 6-10 meetings. We’ll learn what’s most relevant to your relationship so that your needs are met! You may have discussed some of the topics already; however, our sessions allow a more in-depth assessment and conversation. Throughout we’ll provide you with custom-tailored tools, support and guidance, evidence based techniques, insight, thought-provoking discussions and problem solving skills as needed. You’ll walk away knowing your individual and relationship strengths and safeguards for potential challenges down the road.

What do you consider a HEALTHY relationship?
What does a long-term HAPPY relationship mean and what does that look like?

Our Premarital Counseling is custom-tailored based on your interests and relationship needs. We are equipped to work with both monogamous and open relationships as well as any gender identity or sexual orientation.

Typical goals include:

  • Love Languages and Attachment Styles: Identify and learn about your love languages and attachment styles.
  • Communication and Conflict Resolution: With a positive learning approach, together we’ll assess and work on your communication and conflict resolution styles. You’ll gain insight and improved strategies as well as increased emotional intimacy.
  • Longing, Desire, Physical Intimacy and Emotional Intimacy: Discuss and learn how to keep connection, desire and sex healthy and active in long-term relationships
  • Role Expectations: What’s your spoken and unspoken expectations of each other: role responsibilities, boundaries in marriage/life partnership, decision making, finance, dismantling fears and parenting if relevant.
  • Future orientation, life goals, short-term goals and values
  • Blending Families: Converse about family of origin issues, if relevant, extended families, blending them and the impact on your relationship
  • Additional topics that may be relevant: children, infidelity, monogamy/open relationship, trust, managing the household, substance use, impact of past relationships on the present and spirituality

Common Questions about Premarital Counseling

 

For those entering into marriage, civil unions or life partnerships.

Research on marriage

  • Dr. Gottman and Levenson research shows the average couples waits 6 years before seeking help for marital problems
  • The four horseman (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) predict early divorcing. 5.6 years after the wedding.
  • Couples who underwent counseling before their wedding had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not.

When is the right time for couples to start premarital counseling?
Clients do not have to be engaged or solidifying a step in their relationship. Pre-marital counseling can benefit those who are at a crossroad in their relationship and looking to gain understanding or feeling comfortable around the idea of taking the next steps to commit or address ambivalence.

Why pre-marital counseling?
It’s a myth that when you find the person you want to spend your life with that it should be easy. Relationships take dedication and work at all the various stages. Pre-marital counseling helps couples prepare for long-term commitment or marriage. It is a way to strengthen and further stabilize your relationship and increase the longevity of your satisfaction. This kind of counseling can also help you identify weaknesses that could become problems during marriage.

Additionally, research supports that those that underwent counseling before their wedding had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not.

How does premarital counseling differ from couples counseling?
Couples typically come to counseling when there are already concerns or issues negatively impacting the relationship. Premarital counseling is preventative work and focuses on how to improve what’s already working, create richer insight, find and sort through potential hiccups as well as provides you with concrete tools to get through those future relational challenges.